I Can Empathize with Tierra

If you’ve watched The Bachelor at all this season, you know who Tierra is and the trail of ill-willed comments and feelings she induces. Many are vehemently opposed to her. I was one of them – telling friends who weren’t watching this season that they needed to tune in to specific shows to see Tierra’s “sparkle.”

Then on tonight’s show, “The Women Tell All” show where all the jilted bachelorettes come back for one last stab at each other and at their betrayer (Sean), something turned around for me watching Tierra face her nemeses. All those women taking their best shot at her, some trying to be “helpful,” others just laying it out so they felt better, like by telling her she’s delusional. Regardless of her actions, I suddenly felt differently toward her.

I was the girl in high school who would drop everything for whomever I was dating, including my friends. I admit it. As awful as it is, I was that girl. I preferred the committedness of a relationship (however committed high school relationships can be) far over the fair weather that sometimes followed friendships. I had good friends and had many good times with those that were able to look over this ‘flaw’ of mine, so I consider myself lucky in that respect. But I was also often ridiculed and offerred ‘advice’ on what I needed to do to be a better person/friend. That was hard. And when I saw Tierra trying to process and possibly justify her actions, I knew exactly how she felt.

Now, there’s one giant, glaring difference here – I was in HIGH SCHOOL when I was acting this way – Tierra is 24. I would like to think that while I have never been perfect, I did up my game – mature a little – and managed to make some real lasting friendships in college. So the logical conclusion? The bachelorette house that becomes home for 25 women competing for one man’s attention = makeshift all-girl high school, regardless of age. Tierra said a mouthful tonight when she admitted that she came into the situation scared, not knowing what to expect or how to handle everything and that she probably handled it badly. Well-said, and probably a gross understatement, but man it showed that maybe she had walked the line, graduated from all-girl high school hell. Should she begin an interview with Chris Harrison by saying things like “I light up a room when I walk in and if people don’t let that light shine, I get upset.” Um, no, probably not, and I by far wouldn’t condone or put up with half the crap she dealt out on the show. But she possibly does see the error of her ways, maybe just a little.

Tierra might just need a little bit more time to grow up, take some blows, spend some time by herself. I realized I might have been a lot like Tierra at 24 had I not taken some hits, had a few broken hearts, spent some time alone, fostered some friendships, and accepted a whole lot of God’s grace along the way, and thankfully at 24, I was planning a wedding. All of that helped me to grow past some of the drama I’m prone to, some of the insecurity that caused me to be on the constant defensive. That’s where Tierra seemed to live on the show – at the corner of Dramaville and Defensetown. So maybe she’s just a late-bloomer and will grow into her “sparkly” personality and learn to temper it where it needs some toning. Or maybe she’ll find a really, really, really patient man that will tend to her drama. And they will live happily ever after.

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