Question: How many days does it take for the disturbingly disgusting smell of rotting animal carcass to cause one’s sanity be diminished?
Answer: 5.

It’s obscene at this point, the amount of time that has been wasted on a critter of some sort rotting SOMEWHERE near the master bedroom/bath of our house. While I realize this is not a life-or-death situation for most, I have an immensely strong sense of smell (imagine first-trimester-pregnancy level all the time) and this smell has taken root in my very soul. I’ve lost sleep. Michael and I have fought. I’ve yelled at my kids. I’ve refused to shower until the animal was gone. I’ve called in professionals who don’t understand my madness over something rather trivial in their world. I’ve basically – truly – lost my mind over this filthy animal that, by the way, must be the size of a damn horse for all I can surmise based on the length of time it’s taking it to decompose. Oh, and in the meantime, the calendar rolled over and a new year started amidst all this disgusting-ness.

LOVELY.

A time when people are celebrating new beginnings – cleaning, dieting, exercising, reading (you know, ALL THE THINGS one does at the turn of a new year in hopes of bettering themselves) while I’m over here trying not to vomit when I brush my teeth as the stench of nature taking its course wafts by. Yes. LOVELY.

But essentially, I hardly noticed the new year, basically because it’s still Christmas here. Trees are still glowing, music is still playing, and just yesterday we gathered groceries for ‘Christmas dinner’ on Sunday with Michael’s side of the family that has yet to take place due to cancellation from illness and such. I typically leave Christmas decorations in place until well after the new year anyway, so don’t mind me humming “It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas” in my head as I prepare for guests.

Perhaps I’ll just consider myself “on vacation” until I feel it’s a remotely appropriate time to celebrate a new year. Until then, cheers to the filthy animal!